I read this, this morning and I thought it was worthy to share. Give me your thoughts.
Benjamin Franklin was considered by many to be tactless in his youth. They called him arrogant and pompous. Yet, he became so diplomatic and so skillful at handling people that he was made American Ambassador to France!
What was one of the secrets to his successful transformation? At an important juncture in his life, he made a commitment to not criticize, condemn, or complain. “I will speak ill of no man,“ he said,”…and speak all the good I know of everybody.”
Anyone can criticize, complain, and blame—and most people do! But it takes true self control and accountability tohold the tongue.
Doing so is more profitable and far more exciting.
Turning Complaints into Opportunities
Whenever someone complains to you, ask how he or she would like to see the situation resolved. If the person continues to criticize or whine, ask again, “How would you like to see that situation resolved in the best possible way?”
This approach has the potential to change the time and energy invested in complaining into a productive discussion about possibilities. It helps individuals be accountable for their own situations.
A challenging, yet rewarding, experiment you can try is to commit not to complain, blame, or criticize for a whole week—all seven days. If you complain, start over and begin at day one again. Notice the difference it creates in your life.
Here is an example, rather than saying this: “Turning in projects late is not acceptable, this is your last chance!” Try this: “I see turning in projects seems to have become a challenge, is there something we can do to help so that we can maintain high levels of trust between us?
And rather than saying this: “Don’t get so upset over it, it’s not that hard to fix,” try this: “This seems very important to you and I think we can fix it, what is required to fix this problem?”
Remember, the goal is to be quick to understand.
1. Don’t complain, blame, or criticize for seven days. If you complain, even once, start over and begin at day one again. Notice the difference in your attitude and your ability to accomplish more.
What are your thoughts……………is it hard? Can you do it?
What do you think when others are complaining to you? Do you join in? or do you create an opportunity out of it? Is it a gift to you….that you can turn into an opportunity?
7 thoughts on “not complaining…can you do it”
Great advice! I sometimes think that we complain without even thinking about it first. I will take the challenge!
Count me in! I love Mondays and this is a perfect way to start the week. It’s going to be a challenge, but I’m ready to try. Day 1 starts NOW!
Wow! That’s a worthy challenge. It is much easier to be negative and look at the worst in situations and trials that come up in our lives rather than being positive and looking for solutions. Leaders of people find ways to inspire and motivate. Thank you Spencer, I accept the challenge.
Definitely a great challenge. I certainly catch myself blaming and criticizing and I tell myself that because I don’t share it with the masses that I’m okay to “express” those thoughts, after reading this it’s clear that the better option is to look for a solution rather than taking the route of blaming or criticism. Often times when people complain to me I feel like I need to help fix their problem when in fact it’s better to empower them to look inward and find a solution.
7 day challenge accepted
Although I believe myself to be pretty positive, I often find myself being “backed into a corner” by unhappy customers. This will be a good challenge for me to reach out and find out how they want the situation resolved. Great words of wisdom!
I absolutely love this and it is the exact challenge and inspiration that I needed this morning…I am so grateful to have read this to start off my day! I will take on this challenge and conquer it! It reminds me of the song my Mother used to sing to me when I was younger if I was being negative “Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative. Latch on to the affirmative, don’t mess with Mister In-Between” Happy Monday everyone and thank you for starting us off on a positive note!
How to Win Friends and Influence People! Such a spectacular book. I would like to rename the book Principles of Charity. When we don’t criticize, condemn or complain, we show everyone around us how much we care.